A Crazy Lunatic
The other night I said something to my husband about a crazy lunatic and as soon as I said it I regretted it. I hear people say that all the time and it drives me crazy. What other kind of lunatic is there–a sane lunatic?
When I was little I remember my mother telling me about where babies come from. When she explained to me that the baby actually comes out of a woman’s vagina, I was shocked. I thought that she had taught me that men didn’t have vaginas. Her statement “a woman’s vagina” left me baffled. Maybe I’d been mistaken. Maybe men did have vaginas.
After doing some asking around, I found out that I was right about men not having vaginas. So what did she mean when she said that the baby comes out of a woman’s vagina? After a lot of careful thought and consideration, I decided she was talking about one specific woman.
I pictured a large woman reclined on a bed popping baby after baby out of her vagina. Expectant couples would stand in line waiting their turn to catch a squirming baby as it popped out of her vagina into their open arms.
When my sister was born I discovered this wasn’t true. The image of the woman faded from my memory. I thought I’d been a crazy lunatic to ever have believed something so silly.
Author’s Note: I just spell checked this and my spellchecker told me that the plural of vagina is vaginae. I’m not changing the spelling in this post because vaginae, come on, that just sounds ridiculous.
