Nebulous Mooch

Here’s a joke that I do get.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat minor.

I didn’t say it would be funny.

My dad just called me to tell me a joke. “This is a musicians joke, so you might not get it,” he said. After retelling the joke to me several times, he finally remembered the punchline. He thought it was incredibly funny, but I still don’t get it. Here it is:

Musician 1: Did you hear that Bob died?
Musician 2: Really? What’d he die of?
Musician 1: Something serious.

That’s it in a nut shell. Is it funny?

I saw this yesterday and liked it, so I thought I’d share it with you. This guy dances all over the world. Here’s his website.

Sometimes I just say exactly what I’m thinking. This isn’t always a good idea. Especially when what I’m thinking isn’t very smart. This is what happened last night at dinner.

“Where do chickens come from?” I asked.

“Eggs,” my husband laughed.

My stepson flipped through his world history book ignoring yet another ridiculous dinner conversation.

“I mean you don’t see them in the wild, so who invented them?”

This question was met with even more laughter. “You don’t invent an animal,” my husband said.

“They must’ve come from somewhere. Like maybe someone cross bred a turkey and a duck or something.” I have an excuse for this statement. You see, I’ve been very tired the past few days and my brain hasn’t been working right.

This got my stepson’s attention. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Where did chickens come from?” I asked him. He knows a lot about history. I thought he might give me a good answer.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged and resumed his reading.

After dinner I looked up the history of the chicken on the internet. No they are the result of a breeding experiment involving turkeys and ducks. Chickens were found in the wild in China and India and where first domesticated in 7000BC. That answers my question.

My husband said that in order to appreciate my homemade neck brace you had to see it. So here’s a picture. It was good because it kept my neck from moving from side to side. It was bad because after awhile it made my neck itch. I also started to get little bumps on the front of my neck.

I originally bought the throw because I thought it would give me comfort and warmth on cold days. It was an impulse buy when we were cold and had no furniture. At the time, I didn’t realize it was basically a piece of felt with seams sewn up the sides. It provides no warmth at all. Every time I saw it on the sofa, I felt angry and unsatisfied. Now I’m glad I bought it because it did so much to help heal my neck, even if it did give me a bit of a rash.

Sorry about not posting, but it was my birthday the other day and I woke up with a problem. I had such a terrible pain in my neck that I couldn’t turn my head or even lift my arms to massage the area. I couldn’t type either. It was terrible.

I managed to walk to the library and get a book out to read. Then I fashioned a neck brace out of a throw that we keep on the sofa. I folded it several times and then wrapped it around and around my neck and tied it in a giant cumbersome knot at the front.

I spent the past couple days taking hot baths and sitting around in my homemade neck brace reading. I even slept in the neck brace. Now there’s still a little pain when I turn my head but I’m mostly cured.

Who knew turning 34 would be so difficult?

There’s something about a dog that can even entertain people who claim not to like dogs. That’s why they’re used in so many advertisements. Of course, it’s appropriate to use a dog to sell dog food or dog medication or some other thing a dog might use, but when is the last time you saw a dog using toilet paper.

My sister recently bought a dog. It’s a cute mutt with one ear that flops down and one that stands up. My parents visit her more often than they used to just to see the dog. My father scolds it like a child. My mother uses her friendliest voice to talk to it.

“You need to have a kid,” my sister said to me one day. “Mom and Dad are ready for grandchildren.”

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“The other day they showed up at the dog park with the camera to take pictures of my dog. I mean really! It’s a dog!”

My sister is currently dog-sitting a goofy boxer. It’s bigger than her dog and in need of more attention. She had a cookout for the holiday. It rained so the party turned into a bunch of people sitting around the living room watching the dogs play. They rolled around on the floor wrestling and bashing into every one’s shins and the party guests were all enthralled. When it was time to go even my stepson, who is terrified of dogs, didn’t want to leave. He was enjoying watching the dogs.