Sidewalks Across America

I really like sidewalks or footpaths for all you who talk like my husband. I really, really like them. You may be wondering why someone would have such an affection for a slab of concrete. Well, let me tell you.

A sidewalk makes a neighborhood. I don’t even know how you can call an area with no sidewalks a neighborhood. If you can’t walk between houses without walking in the street or across someone’s lawn it’s not a neighborhood. If you live in one of these strange sidewalkless communities and I’ve offended you by saying that it is not a neighborhood, I’m sorry. It’s just that sometimes you have to take a stand, and I’m taking mine right here on the sidewalk.

I like to go for walks, but a neighborhood with no sidewalks is a neighborhood that discourages walking. A neighborhood that discourages walking encourages sitting around on the sofa eating Doritos all day. That just leads to bad health, a couch with a permanent indentation and a worldwide shortage of Doritos. No wonder Floridians are so unhealthy.

I would like to make a call for action across the state … no across the country. If you don’t have a sidewalk in your community go to Home Depot and buy some cement. I’m not sure how much you need because I have no previous experience with cement. Mix that cement up and make your own little sidewalk right outside your house. It’s okay if it’s a little lumpy. Nothing is perfect and I’ve read that walking on a challenging surface develops the muscles in your feet.

If everyone made their own little sidewalk in front of their houses they could all connect. Then we would all have sidewalks. It would be like Hands Across America only better because it would have a point and afterwards there would be a completed network of sidewalks that people could actually walk on when they took their dogs out in the evening, not just a bunch of confused people trying to stretch as far as they can to hold hands across a bridge and then just pretending there’s not a giant gap in the middle and swaying back and forth singing that annoying song.

Photo by edkohler

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