November is half over and I’ve given up on trying to grow a mustache for Movember. It just wasn’t working out. The hair follicles on my upper lip are lazy.

When I mentioned this to my husband, he was quick to say that he’d grow a mustache this month. That’s not what I wanted to start at all. He tried to grow a mustache for Movember several years ago and all he ended up with a bunch of sharp, clear, polar-bear-style hairs protruding from his face. It was like being hit with a hairbrush every time he tried to kiss me. We’re not doing that again.

I thought that instead of growing a mustache he might be interested in this:

Nothing says I care about men’s health like a red, white, and blue temporary mustache tattoo. He could wear it to his next gig. No one will notice. I mean seriously, when was the last time you noticed the bass player in a band? Never.

I think I might get him a temporary turkey tattoo to put on his back too. It is almost Thanksgiving after all.