Cheeseburger Trees and Lychees

SONY DSCNow that we have a house, I’m looking forward to planting some food around it. No, I don’t mean I’m going to bury a cheeseburger in the backyard. A cheeseburger tree would be interesting and I’m sure it would make us the most popular house on the street, but I was thinking more along the lines of fruit and veggies.

We went to the garden festival the other day, where I nabbed a lychee tree. I just love lychees and they are quite expensive. If I can get a tree to produce some fruit that will be mighty exciting. The problem is that I have a bit of a brown thumb. I used to say that I walk into a room and the plants wither and die, but I’ve decided to change my thinking a bit. I mean, you are with you think, and if I think I have a green thumb, I’ll have a green thumb.

When I go to bed at night I imagine that my thumbs are a lovely shamrock shade of green, and that I just look at plants and they start growing, flowering, and producing fruit. My technique seems to be working with the Mona Lavender I have. It’s turning into a regular shrub. I should probably put it in a bigger pot or plant it outside.

All of my visualization and positive thinking has helped, but I think what helped the most is actually reading the instructions. If you look up how to care for a plant and simply follow the instructions, it’s actually quite easy. Who knew? All this time I thought plant people had mystical powers. Apparently, the only power they had was the ability to follow instructions. So I’ve set aside my old ways, the ways that made my kefir making go horribly wrong, and I’ve started following instructions … at least for this week.

Mow the Lawn

We finally got around to cutting the grass. Yeah, that was last week really, but I’m only getting around to announcing this exciting news today.

We went to my favorite store, Home Depot, and stood in front of the lawn mowers for forever discussing which kind of mower to get. We were considering getting the cheapest gas one when my husband spied the manual push mowers. “Maybe we should get that,” he suggested.

I didn’t tell him this, but I was thinking the same thing. I actually researched these mowers online to find out if they really work. I research a lot of things online. Like yesterday I found out all about the angler fish, because this knowledge will really help me move ahead in life.

Frankly, we need all the exercise we can get. When you sit around writing on the interwebs all day, you need to get up off your squishy behind and push a lawn mower designed in the 1800s. So we got an old school push mower against the advice of the Home Depot employee who was hovering over us the entire time.

The best thing about having a manual lawn mower is watching those little blades spin. There’s something so satisfying about it. The worse thing is that it stops abruptly nearly impaling you through the chest with the handle every time even the smallest little stick gets stuck in it.

I’m sure my husband is loving the new purchase because anytime I notice that he is cutting the grass I get all jealous and have to do it too. He’s hardly doing any mowing at all. Yard work is fun, even in Florida heat.

Note: Here a joke courtesy of my father …
How do you say cut the grass in French?
Mow the lawn.

Note 2: That picture up there is an affiliate link in case you want to buy a manual mower of your own.

Can You Eat That?

SONY DSCWe haven’t gotten around to getting a lawnmower yet and the backyard is starting to look a bit like the Amazon Rainforest– if all the plants in the rainforest were no more than five inches tall of course.

I’m sure the Amazon rainforest has a lot of edible things growing in it. I’m sure there are a ton of plants that will kill you in a few seconds growing there too. The secret is knowing what will kill you from what will taste great with a little salt and pepper.

Sometimes I sit on the back step and wonder the same thing about the plants growing in the yard. The fluffy leafy little plants that grow around the roots of the jacaranda tree look edible to me. The other day I picked a tiny bit of leaf and popped in my mouth.

“What are you doing?” my husband exclaimed, “That could kill you.”

“Maybe,” I said, “Maybe not.” Normally I’m the overly cautious one. I guess I was having an off day.

It didn’t kill me, but it also didn’t taste very good. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again, not until I know what I’m eating at least.

We’ve Moved

movingvanWe just moved into our house last week. Actually, I like to refer to it as our echo chamber because we have so few things that every noise we make bounces off the empty walls like a tennis ball. That’s good because now I have all the room I could possibly want to polish up my moves for the next So You Think You Can Dance audition. Tweet Boogie is still my favorite dancing instructor. Hopefully, I’ll have my respectful slow grind together soon.

The downside to not having any furniture is that there isn’t anywhere for anybody to sit. We’ve picked up a few odds and ends that my parents were kind enough to give us: a sofa, a bookcase, a green thing. That’s pretty much it though.

We’re in no hurry to get furniture because we’re not really sure about what to do with the space yet. I haven’t lived in a place with this much room in a long, long time. 1067 square feet may be small potatoes to you, but when you’re coming from a 331 square foot cottage this is a mansion. I’m taking time to enjoy it before we clutter it all up.

There’s still a pile of boxes to unpack in the kitchen. I just haven’t had the time to get to them yet, and even if I did I don’t have anywhere to put the stuff they contain. I’m hoping that if I ignore them long enough they’ll unpack themselves. Perhaps a small unpacking elf will show up in the middle of the night and clear them out for me. Or maybe the neighbor’s cat will make himself useful and come in here and unpack some boxes. That would be more helpful than pooping in our front yard and strolling up and down the street like he owns the neighborhood.

Photo by dno1967b

The House

Finally after months and months and months of struggle, we bought a house!!! I’ve been sitting here trying to think of something clever to say about it, but I can’t. Now we just have to think of something to name it and make a plaque to hang by the door. I was set on Rupert the House before, but now that we have a house I don’t think it looks like a Rupert at all. I’m thinking Bernice Littlefield might be a better name. What do you think?


Closing Smosing

So I was supposed to close on a house, but since the title company and the closer can’t seem to get their acts together it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen today. This is killing me. Even though I don’t follow schedules when I make them, I really like to have one.

So it looks like I wore my closing outfit for no apparent reason. It’s a closing outfit because it’s not shorts and a T-shirt which is my I’m-working-today uniform. Since I’m wasting a perfectly good closing outfit, I had my husband take a picture of me so you can see it. I think the shirt says I’m a responsible human being while the pants are say that the weather is a little chilly today.


My husband apologized for his poor photography skills. “I think my nose is too big for taking pictures. Cameras are made for people with petite noses,” he said. I wonder if his nose was also the reason my face looks so lumpy in this picture.