Nebulous Mooch

Times are economically tough, or at least that’s what I keep hearing. In these lean times, holiday shopping may be stretching the budget a bit. You still want to give Uncle Louie a present, but you can’t really afford to splash out on a bottle of Old Spice again this year. Don’t fret. I have the perfect solution. Try donating some fake money to a fake charity in Uncle Louie’s name. It’s a win win situation. Some fake people get help for their fake problem. Uncle Louie gets a fake present. You both have a laugh and best of all  your money stays in your wallet. Isn’t that what the holidays are all about?  Check out this link to find out more.

It’s Guy Fawkes Night. All this time I thought it was Guy Forks Night, but I was recently corrected. Apparently, this holiday has nothing to do with forks which is unfortunate because I was quite enjoying the idea of celebrating guys and forks. They’re such useful inventions. Well, I guess guys aren’t really an invention. Anyway, none of this matters because it’s not about that, this night is all about Guy Fawkes. So here’s my understanding of what we’re celebrating.

Guy Fawkes was a Catholic who was being oppressed by the Protestants. He and some other Catholics decided to show the Protestant powers that be that they weren’t going to be kicked around anymore. So they rented a cellar beneath the Parliament building. Obviously, they had few national security concerns back then. I mean what were they thinking allowing Catholics to rent out the Parliament basement.

These Catholics were up to no good, let me tell you. They put a whole lot of gunpowder in the basement with the idea that they would blow up the Parliment building killing the King, his family, the evil Prostetant overlords and a few  Catholics as collateral damage. It was a great plan, until they got caught on November 5, 1605. They were all drawn, hung, and quartered. And now every November 5th, the English celebrate this by setting off fireworks in their yards.