It’s Still the Weather

Remember when I wondered if I brought extremely cold temperatures with me everywhere I go? If you don’t here’s a reminder. Well my current experience here in Florida is confirming my suspicions. The other night when I went out I swore I could see my breath. I’ve brought the English weather here with me. Here’s a news report from the other day.

The Sun is So Strong

This conversation occurred while driving in a car at mid-day.

My husband: I’d roll down the window, but the sun is so strong.

Me: That’s because you lost all your pigment living in England.

My husband: I never had any pigment to begin with.

He rolls the window a crack and turns his hat sideways to protect the side of his face.

My husband: The sun’s so strong! Imagine what it must be like in summer.

Me: You lived here for 15 years. You know what it’s like in summer.

Living in England has not only caused my husband to loose any color he had before–which wasn’t much–but has also seemed to wipe out his memory about what it’s like to live in Florida. He keeps forgetting to put on sunscreen, and he has gotten sunburned on his neck repeatedly. I hope this trip doesn’t result in skin cancer.

Your Apartment Smells of Spices

So I’ve complained many times about my apartment complex in this blog. My first issue was when we moved in we had no running water on Tuesdays for about a month or maybe even longer. Then there was the famous Valet Waste incident. For some reason I thought that moving out would go relatively smoothly. I seem to have difficulty learning from the past.

When I went to give our thirty day notice the apartment manager suggested that I pay an extra eighty dollars for a cleaning service they “offer”. I said I’d clean the apartment myself.

We moved out today and an office person came to inspect our apartment. The first thing she said was “Your apartment smells of spices. That’ll cost thirty five dollars to fix. The burner plates are dirty and they’ll be thirty-five dollars each to replace.” The fees kept racking up.

I couldn’t believe it. It’s all a scam to get you to pay the cleaning service fee. Of course our apartment smells of spices, we cook in it. Did they expect us not to cook?

Never move into Camden Lake Apartments or any apartments affiliated with Camden Living. That’s my free advice for the day. I don’t give much so savor this morsel.

Phone Manners

Now that we’re trying to sell a bunch of stuff on Craig’s List before the move, we get a lot of phone calls from strangers. A large portion of these strangers don’t seem to understand how to converse on the phone with someone they don’t know. Here an example of what happens:

The telephone rings and I answer it, only because I have to. I like to let my husband deal with numbers on the caller ID that I don’t recognize. “Hello,” I say.

“Hey, what’s up?” says the male caller on the other end of the phone.

How am I supposed to respond to this? I don’t know who this person is. I usually say, “Nothing. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He usually repeats the word nothing. This means that there’s a whole lot of nothing going on, I guess. Then there is silent for a few seconds. During this time I continue to wonder who the heck this person is and try to figure out a way to get off the phone. Finally he’ll continue, “I’m calling about your ad on Craig’s List.”

Who are these people and who taught them how to use the telephone? Whoever did didn’t do a very good job.

On Monday a leathery man in fuzzy winter slippers came over to buy the speakers my husband advertised. This is Florida. Why does he have fuzzy winter slippers and why would he wear them out? He talked on and on about The Who and finally bought the speakers.

The parade of Craig’s List characters continues.

Blowing Leaves

Have you ever been given a meaningless time wasting task at work? I’ve been given tons of them. That’s one of the reasons I hate working so much.

I could hear the motor of a leaf blower going for what seemed like forever right outside my window. Finally fed up with all the racket, I decided to look outside to see what was going on. One of the grounds keepers was randomly blowing leaves off the sidewalk around our building. I say randomly because he would blow the leaves off the sidewalk in one section, then he’d move to the grass next to the sidewalk and blow the leaves from the grass onto the sidewalk that he’d just cleared. When he finally finished, I think there were just as many leaves on the sidewalk as there were when he started.

Whether or not he’d successfully cleared the sidewalk, it was a meaningless task. There are a lot of leaves around. If no one picks them up, they’ll blow right back onto the sidewalk again. I wonder how long it took him to do this around all of the buildings in the complex. This is a big complex so it’ll probably take all day.

Buzz Off

Not so long ago we went for a walk in the park and saw the most amazing fly. I don’t know what kind of fly it was, maybe a horsefly. Are they really big ones that buzz loudly? If they are then it was definitely a horsefly.

Anyway this fly was hovering right in the middle of the path about the height of my head. I almost walked into it. That’s how we discovered it. It was just sitting there in midair. This was a very talented fly.

My husband wanted to get a picture of it, but every time he got the camera to focus on it the fly would quickly zoom around behind my husband’s head and then resume hovering there. It was a very talented fly indeed. It did this many times and my husband couldn’t get a good picture of it. He finally gave up.

We didn’t get a good picture of the fly so here’s another picture instead.

Dolphin Dance

I like to walk along Coffee Pot Bayou. It’s a road by the water, lined with fancy houses that cost way too much money. A lot of the photos on this blog were taken there–like the one at the top of this post.
The other day when we went walking, we saw a great show. We knew it would be an unusual walk when we noticed the number of fish leaping out of the water. In one little area there were four manatees surfacing for air.

A dolphin swam by. Then a few yards away, several dolphins started jumping out of the water. They were leaping and jumping like they were putting on a show.

Some people started to gather on the sidewalk to watch, and I suddenly felt like I was at SeaWorld. Of course this would happen on the only day I didn’t bring my camera.
Maybe they were trying to tell us something.