Nebulous Mooch

I called an ambulance to take me to the emergency room last week. This is the conversation that occurred in the ambulance.

Paramedic: (Filling out my intake form) Your date of birth?

Me: 19-05-1974

Paramedic: Age?

Me: I’m 34.

Paramedic: (Looks up from the form) No you’re not.

Me: Yes, I am.

Paramedic: No, you’re not. I’m 34, and I was born in 1975. You were born in 1974 so that makes you 35.

Me: But my birthday isn’t until May 19th. That hasn’t happened yet so I’m 34.

Paramedic: (Rolls her eyes and writes 35 as my age on the form.)

In case you didn’t know, I was in the hospital recently. It was nothing serious, just an exploding fallopian tube and some internal bleeding. The doctors in the emergency room seemed to think that I only needed some painkillers to be fixed right up.

The following day, my doctor seemed to think it required emergency surgery. Imagine that! Such an over reaction. A little internal bleeding never killed anyone.

After the surgery, I got to stay in lovely Watford General Hospital for a few days. Hospital stays aren’t most people’s favorite things, so they usually do plenty of complaining about them. I think there are a lot of positive sides to staying in the hospital. Here are a few.

1. The nurses there cared so much about how I was doing that they woke me up every half hour during the  night to take my blood pressure and temperature.

2. I ate toast and strawberry jam for breakfast every morning. Living in a gluten free household, I never get to have toast and I love toast.

3. Every couple of hours someone would offer me hot chocolate.

4. Having a catheter means, you can drink as much as you want without having to worry about getting up every few minutes to use the toilet.

5. The absolute best thing about the hospital is finally getting to go home.