So I got an email from my internet provider the other day, and I was excited to open it because it said it contained a special offer. I was hoping that they’d decided to provide me with a lifetime of free massages and fancy imported cheeses. No luck. Instead they were offering me cable with DVR, internet, and phone service for the low price of $119 a month. I laughed out loud when I read it.
Who uses a phone anymore? Except for me. I think we’re the only people in the world under 75 who has a home number.
Who watches TV anymore? Except for me on Sundays at my parents house.
Who uses the internet? … well actually just about everybody.
$119 a month just doesn’t seem like a great offer to me. They have to do a bit better than that. I’m already annoyed that I’m paying $50 a month for internet. In the UK I only paid 11 pounds a month. British internet providers spoiled me.
When I moved into this house I thought I’d be able to shop around for internet. I think shopping around is suppose to be a big part of what makes a capitalist society work, but I was told that only one company provided internet in my neighborhood. It was the company I hate most … well second most my most hated company is actually Verizon … and Walmart … and Halliburton … and Monsanto … and … Anyway, it was a company I hate because their commercials are always a million times louder than anything else on the television.
Now we’re stuck together. Me and my internet provider are like two peas in a pod. I pretend to like them. I smile at them when they give me special offers while I curse them under my breath.
Have you heard about the Outernet? Now that’s the business. You can read about it here. Once they get their satellites launched they’ll be offering free internet to everybody. That sounds promising. If they can figure out how to offer free massages and White Stilton Gold to everybody too, I’ll be all in.