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We went tot he beach the other day because it was beautiful out and we thought the beach at sunset would be nice. It was nice to look at. I took a lot of pictures, but it wasn’t really the best experience. Why? I’ll tell you.
A swarm of devil flying ants landed on us and bit us with their evil little ant jaws. I didn’t know anything was wrong until I suddenly I felt like something was stabbing me in the back. My husband looked down the back of my t-shirt and saw that I was covered in flying ants. Those horrid creatures were trying to build a nest on my back.
I’m still suffering from the ant bites that itch like you wouldn’t believe. I didn’t even realize I was so attractive to ants. The next time you have an ant problem in your house invite me over. I’ll lay on the floor and they’ll all run to me. I’m the perfect environmentally friendly, living ant trap. I wonder how much I can charge for that service.
Anyway, here are the pictures I took at the beach. No ants appear in the pictures.
We’re looking for a new place to rent and decided to look beyond the Watford area. So we went to look at a house in North Mymms the other day and it raised a lot of questions in my mind.
Firstly, I wonder why North Mymms is spelled with a Y but South Mimms is spelled with an I.
Secondly, I wonder who in the world would want to live in North Mymms. Talk about a depressing place. It was ugly and flat and somehow unfinished looking. It seemed like we weren’t even in England, but instead in some horrible place populated by people who looked like they were at one time very heavy drinkers. Even their dogs were quite unfortunate looking. North Mymms was a bit like one of those gray scale cards you use in photography when you set your white balance. It was a neutral gray place with no charm.
I don’t mean to insult North Mymms or the people living there. I’m sure that if you have a particular love for the color gray and if you have a bulbous red nose you’d love it. You would especially love it if you have an English bull terrier. Actually this picture is a pretty good representation of North Mymms to me.
Here’s an example of the countryside.
Lovely, isn’t it?
Despite all these details real estate in North Mymms is a hot commodity. The place we went there to see was taken by the people who saw it before us. The real estate agent said that as soon as things become available there they are snatched up. Property is booming in North Mymms. I guess there are a lot of red faced, bulbous nosed bull terrier owners who are missing the facial muscles that are used when you smile looking for a place to live.
Now I really can’t move to North Mymms because I’ve probably made a lot of enemies. I heard that bull terriers can easily tear off a human arm so I won’t be moving there.
I get a lot of crazy emails. Most of them are from SEO companies promising to get my site to the top of the search engines, but yesterday I got one that was kind of unique that I thought I’d post.
Hi there,
I’m contacting you as I’m sure many have in the past. After checking out your site at http://nebulousmooch.com/, I have a joint venture proposition for you and I’m pretty sure you’ll find it as exciting as I do.
It’s called the ‘Hair Loss Blueprint’ and it’s just been launched on the Clickbank marketplace. It’s a product type that is a proven money maker and a product brand that is solely unique. Promoting the ‘Hair Loss Blueprint’ is a great opportunity for you, for 5 HUGE reasons:
After checking this blog, he decided this would be a great business opportunity for me? I’m not sure how he decided that. Maybe he saw some pictures of my husband’s questionable hairline.
1. The ‘Hair Loss Blueprint’ is a dream product for those desperate to stop their receding hairline and to even boost hair growth for bald men. Using a mixture of traditional and modern techniques, this truly is an affordable, yet cutting-edge product which makes it stand out in the market. With this distinction, the ‘Hair Loss Blueprint’ is undeniably the best. And when was the last time you promoted a product that went literally uncontested?
2. We offer a downright sexy commission program. You’re going to earn 75% on each sale. That means a minimum of $20 in your pocket every single time someone orders through your affiliate link. Plus… with an unbeatable OTO offered that pays you 75% on top of that, you can very realistically earn up to $40+ per referral!
This poor fellow seems to think that commission programs are sexy. To get a good understanding of what sexy is exactly maybe he should look at that picture again. This time concentrate less on the questionable hairline and more on the sexy.
Now that’s sexy!!
Reasons 3, 4, and 5 aren’t that interesting so I won’t make you read them. (Like I can make you do anything;) But, check out the closing of the email.
Rooting For You,
I love that. It’s always good to have people rooting for you.
If you are bald, I’m sorry but no $37 ebook is going help you grow your hair back. Instead of wasting money on products like that or this…
accept and embrace your baldness. Some of my favorite people are bald…
Because I look up to my little sister so much, I’ve started taking lots of pictures of myself. Most of the time my sister’s camera is full of pictures of herself taken at arm’s length.
Have you ever had a favorite article of clothing that you thought you looked really good in until you saw a picture of yourself wearing it? Let’s just say that my newest hobby has taught me some interesting things about my wardrobe. The jeans that I thought looked great on me sag oddly in the crotch region. My favorite short-sleeved sweater makes me look like I have a giant stomach. There goes my plans of starting a style blog.
When I confronted my husband for not telling me about the abomination that is my wardrobe he claimed to not have noticed. I’ll give him a break because he isn’t exactly the epitome of style. I won’t give him a break for not telling me that I had a booger hanging out of my nose before I went to my passport interview though.
Here’s a picture I took of myself the other day in the questionable sweater. I had to twist around to get rid of the appearance of a giant stomach.
Sometimes I look at these pictures and swear I have a lazy eye.
Guess what came through my mail slot this morning?
No, not an envelope stuffed with cash.
Okay, I’ll tell you. I got a picture of a sad kitten named Stevie.
Doesn’t that just tug at your heartstrings?
Oh yeah. I almost forgot to mention that I also got my British passport!!!
I am now an official member of the two passport Bettison crew. We roll like that…with double the passport renewal fees and two expiration dates to keep track of.
The week before I decided that I was on death’s door something very exciting happened. My naturalisation application to become a British citizen was approved. When they said I’d get my picture taken with the Queen I thought she’d be there in person.
This is a lazy post today. I thought I would just put up some pictures I’ve taken recently. Because I’m totally self-obsessed I’ve been taking a lot of self portraits.
One of my favorite pairs of jeans tore recently. I hate buying jeans and want to hang on to pairs that fit properly as long as possible. Last week, I decided that I could just patch up my torn pairs of jeans. Because of the location of the hole I had to sew the patch on by hand and it took a long time. I did a pretty darn good job though. I only stuck myself with the needle 10 thousand times. That’s better than the 10 million times I stuck myself with the needle the last time I tried to sew something by hand.
When I wore them the next day my husband laughed and laughed and said that I shouldn’t wear them outside. Later that evening some people were coming to our house to have a very serious discussion, and he told me that I should change before they arrived.
Change before they arrive, I thought. What’s wrong with him? Then he showed me this picture.
I swear it wasn’t that noticeable in the mirror, but it didn’t have a big red arrow pointing at it either. He won. I changed and now I have the misfortunate nickname, Vagina Patch.
Note: Apparently, misfortunate isn’t a word, who knew? Well my husband did and made it a point to correct old Vagina Patch as soon as he got home from his gig. I meant to say unfortunate, but I’m leaving misfortunate in the post because I’m hoping to start a trend.
My husband ate the worst salad in the world in the Madrid airport. It most have been pretty bad, because it seems to have left more of an impression on him than the salad with a German cockroach in it that he ate in the Canary Islands. He brought the napkin from the Madrid airport restaurant home with him because he thought the name of it was so funny. The napkin sits on our dining table and every time we eat he picks it up and asks me if I’ve written a post about it yet.
My husband tends to have lots of ideas about posts for this blog. Usually if I stall long enough he forgets about them, but this napkin thing just won’t go away. So here’s the napkin.
He says that if he had noticed the name of the resturant before he bought the salad he would’ve gone somewhere else.
The reason I was reluctant to post this is because before I moved to the UK that would’ve meant anything to me. My husband says that I’m in the minority and that most people know what that means. So if anyone else out there is completely unaware of how the English pronounce certain words here’s an explanation. Ars which I think should have an e on the end so it is spelled arse is how the English pronounce the word ass. (I’m pretty sure that’s a run on sentence, but I so don’t care.)
