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I have a million email addresses. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. I really have eleven email addresses. That may seem a bit excessive to you, but when you work online it becomes necessary. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Recently, my Yahoo email account was hacked. I know because I mother called me the other day and said, “I got this email from you that said ‘Have the best sex of your life.’ When I clicked on the link in the email it took me to this website. I don’t understand what the joke was.” Of course she thought it was a joke because most of my emails are, but does she really think I’d send an email about having the best sex of your life to her–MY MOTHER. That was no joke. That was the serious business of email hacking. If you’re reading this and you’ve recently started getting emails from me about Viagra and sex parties, I’m sorry. Don’t open the emails and don’t click on the links contained therein.
I’ve spent all morning trying to take care of this situation. Hopefully, I have. I’ll just have to wait and see.
I was so happy to find out that the date of the Rapture has been pushed back. To be perfectly honest, I just wasn’t ready yet. This may seem trivial considering that most people would love to be swept up to heaven in blink of an eye, but I haven’t finished my Flickr Project 365 yet. I don’t think it would be responsible of me to leave my husband to deal with our weed infested driveway alone either. Maybe I sound presumptuous to you, but come on, take a look at the two of us and you’ll notice that certain people who live in this flat just may be sprouting horns. I don’t think they allow horns in Heaven.
Additional Information:
In case you’re interested, I’m starting to post my short stories on this site.
The flags are up and throngs of people line the streets of London having a kind street party. Street parties are what we do when we have something to celebrate. That’s what my mother-in-law told me. All of Britain definitely has reason to celebrate today because the Bettisons have arrived from Australia this morning. Let the party begin!
I come from a long line of printer obsessed people. Well that’s not exactly true. Printers haven’t been around long enough for that to be true, but my parents do have five printers. When my husband reorganized my father’s studio they were reluctant to get rid of any of their printers. Everyone had a specific and very important function.
I understand this love for printers. I’ve had the same printer for years and years. It was a cheap printer, but it never gave me a problem. Let’s call him Melvin. Melvin was well-behaved and friendly–well as friendly as an inanimate object can be. One day Melvin stopped working. I needed a scanner anyway so I decided to buy a new printer. Let’s call him Brad.
I didn’t like Brad one bit. He took up too much space and was really into himself. Melvin sat under my bed gathering dust while Brad sucked all the money from my bank account with his super expensive ink habit. Yesterday, when I noticed that Brad was already starting to whine about wanting more ink….AGAIN, I decided I needed to do something about this problem. I was going to fix Melvin.
I’m the first to admit that I’m not mechanical. My idea of fixing something is bashing it around a bit and then seeing if it’s started working. The idea being that if I hit it in just the right place some loose parts will magically fall into place and it will start working again. Sometimes that actually works, but usually it doesn’t.
I decided to take Melvin apart. It didn’t start out well. There was lots of pulling and twisting and hitting and slamming before I got myself under control and found a video explaining how to fix him. In the video the person gives specific instructions not to remove certain items from inside your printer. Ooops….I already removed those items in my early thrashing around stage of my repair job.
Now that Melvin is in pieces on the dinning table there are a few pieces that I don’t know what to do with. I just don’t know where all these little springs came from. This morning when I suggested that the springs were so small they must not be important my husband laughed and told me that if I put it back together wrong I’d end up with ink spilling all over the place when I tried to print something.
I guess Melvin is ready for the trash, but I’m still not ready to give him up. Of all my regrets taking Melvin apart without proper instructions is my biggest.
Have you ever watched The Price is Right? When we used to do our laundry in the local laundromat The Price is Right was always blaring from the two televisions at either end of the establishment. For those of you who are lucky enough to never have heard of The Price of Right I’ll just say that it’s a game show that’s been on for a very long time. What shocked me is that the other customers in the laundromat seemed completely engrossed in the show. Anyway, one thing about the show that always got on my nerves was when a car was the prize the announcer would always say, “A neeeeeeewwwwww caaaaaarrrrrr!” I hated that. I know winning a new car is exciting, but must he say it in such an annoying manner.
We didn’t win a new car, but decided to buy an old car to make our trips to Florida a bit easier. There’s nothing I hate more than shopping for a car. Actually that’s not true. I think I hate getting a cavity filled more. Oh yeah, and there was that totally unnecessary uterus vacuuming. That was pretty bad too. So when I put it into prespective I guess car shopping isn’t that bad.
My husband is so excited about our new car that he couldn’t wait to have me take a picture of him climbing into it.
Last night at about 12:30, I thought I heard a strange noise coming from the bathroom. As usual, instead of getting up to investigate I said to my husband, “Do you hear that?” Of course, he didn’t. “Seriously, do you hear that?” I asked again, but he was completely uninterested so I knew I’d have to go investigate it for myself.
The noise was coming from the bathroom. It sounded like someone had left the sink running. When I opened the bathroom door there was a pool of water on the floor and the toilet tank was overflowing. “Help,” I yelled and my husband came rushing in to see our toilet which had suddenly transformed itself into Victoria Falls. After briefly considering how much I might be able to charge people to see the wonder that our toilet had become, we sprang into action.
When we removed the lid from the tank we saw that the pipe that fills up the tank had water gushing out of it at an incredible speed. I flushed the toilet to empty the tank and within a few seconds it was full again. I just sat there flushing the toilet again and again and asking my husband what we should do. Unlike normal toilets, our toilet has no shut off valve.
My husband stuck his finger in the pipe which of course sprayed water all over us. If that had indeed stopped the water, I wonder if he would’ve sat there all night with his finger in the pipe.
The only way to turn off the water to our flat is by uncovering a hole on the sidewalk and reaching your arm all the way down the hole to turn off the valve with a screwdriver. Eventually, my husband did that, but the problem with doing that is that it shuts off the water for the whole building. That means the people who live upstairs don’t have any water either. Not so good, huh?
Our plumbing problems were fixed this morning. Not only did the plumber fix the toilet, but he put a valve in the pipe that leads to the toilet so we can turn off the water if we need to. But, this experience left me wondering something. Why do toilets run for so long when the tanks can be filled within a few seconds? Wouldn’t be nicer if the tank filled more quickly? I think I’m on to something here. Maybe I should get into the toilet making business.
We went to Stonehenge yesterday. We were so very pleased when we discovered that the parking was free. We thought maybe seeing Stonehenge would be free too. Unfortunately, we were wrong.
After making our way across a busy road we found the whole area surrounded by a large fence with no way to get in. This is strange we thought. Than we realized you have to pay to get in. To avoid having tourists darting out in front of cars they’ve built a tunnel under the road. Those aliens were really forward thinking.
Since we paid nearly 7 pounds each to get in we were determined to stay in there as long as possible. We listened to our audio tour devices. We learned all about lintels and sarsens and longed for the good old days when you could rent a hammer to break a piece off one of the stones to keep as a souvenir.
Some of us slept on the grass under a hat in a fruitless attempt to avoid sunburn.
Some of us walked around trying to look gangsta.
And some of us swore we could see alien faces carved into the stones.
Overall I say it was pretty good. The stones where like giant teeth in the gums of the earth or at least that’s how they described them on the audio tour. I think I’ll give Stonehenge two thumbs up.
My husband had a gig at the Apollo Theater this weekend. I’ve never been to the Apollo before so I was excited to go. Unforatunately it wasn’t this Apollo…
The Apollo Theater he was playing at was this one…
At this Apollo Theater the audience looked kind of like this…
My husband was playing there with a band called Meta4. I used to think corny band names were reserved for bands that choose to use sax in their names, like Opposite Sax and Sax Appeal, but Meta4 proved me wrong. I get proven wrong so often.
I’ve been crazy busy for the past couple of days, and I wanted to show you what I’ve been up to.
Item #1
I’ve finally decided to publish my second novel online and promote it too. (My first novel wasn’t so good and I probably shouldn’t even admit it exists.) You may have noticed the book store page on this blog where you can buy a PDF copy of my second novel. It’s also available on Smashwords.com in all e-reader formats. I put up an author website, and, with my husband’s help, I made this snazzy book trailer.
I don’t know what I’m going to do about a paperback version yet, but once I figure that out I’ll let you know.
Item #2
As many of you know, I’m in the Young Women’s Presidency in my ward. The EFY program will be going on for the youth this summer and they need to do some fund raising to pay for it. Anyway, the Young Women wrote and recorded a song and are selling it as an MP3 download to raise money for EFY. I’ve been busy creating a website for that. You can see that here.
Item #3
I’ve also been creating some new information products and updating old ones. I won’t link to them because I haven’t quite finished yet.
Item #4
My husband managed to let his domain name expire without even knowing it. I had to re-purchase it for him and throw up a fast site. He still hasn’t put any music on it even though I showed him how. I also showed him how to keep his gig calender up-to-date, but I’ll probably have to do that too. I’m complaining or anything.
Item #5
I’ve almost finished the first draft of my third novel. It’s exciting stuff. If you like musicians, ghosts, senior citizens and generally strangeness, this could be the book for you. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
