The craziest thing keeps happening to me every year. I keep getting older. I’ve been trying to figure out how to put an end to this, but outside of death I just can’t seem to come up with a solution. I was thinking that I might want to consider becoming a vampire, but I’m a bit squeamish around blood, and I don’t really like wearing black.
Last week I looked into building a time machine, because anyone who’s watched Doctor Who knows time travel is totally possible, but I can’t even seem to fix my sewing machine, how would I ever build a time machine. A time machine wouldn’t really be a solution anyway, because as I traveled backwards and forwards in time, I’d continue to age. I’d probably have to deal with some horrendous jet lag too. I’m pretty sure that every time you have jet lag you age a year.
After a lot of thought I decided that the best way to stop getting older was to just pretend it wasn’t happening. Denial solves everything, right? So I’ll tuck my gray hairs out of sight and when asked my age I’ll just tell people I’m twenty-nine. Someone once told me that I didn’t look a day over twenty-nine, but that was ten years ago.
Some people say that you should embrace your age. I don’t know what kind of drugs those people have been taking, but sane people like me will fight the advancing years like a zombie invasion.
Picture by Aih