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New Year’s Resolutions

Posted by Lovelyn | December 31, 2009 .

Me: Are you going to make any resolutions for next year?
My husband: No. I think I did pretty good this year.

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Morris Dancing

Posted by Lovelyn | November 24, 2009 .

“Have you heard of Morris dancing?” my husband asked.
Curious I looked it up. Morris dancing a a type of English folk dancing in which the dancers wield sticks, swords or handkerchiefs. This description intrigued me even more so I watched a video of it on You Tube.
“See. This is your heritage,” I said to my [...]

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Pardon?

Posted by Lovelyn | November 13, 2009 .

I must be hard of hearing. That’s the only excuse for the difficulty I have understanding what people are saying to me in a noisy room. Having a conversation in the midst of the buzz of many other conversations going on all around you is hard of a lot of people, but I think it’s [...]

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Ice Cream Cake Fantasy

Posted by Lovelyn | October 19, 2009 .

My husband: When I was a kid we used to have ice cream cake every Saturday.
I haven’t eaten cake for a very long time, but my husband is well aware of my previous love for cake, especially ice cream cake.
Me: What kind of fantasy world did you grow up in? We only had ice cream [...]

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My Next Video

Posted by Lovelyn | August 26, 2009 .

My Husband: My next video is going to feature dancing. (He gets up from the breakfast table and start dancing around    wildly while looking at himself the mirror.)
Me: Really?
My Husband: And at the end I’ll take off my shirt.
Me: I think you should leave your shirt on.
My Husband: It’ll be like in the movies. It’ll [...]

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The Invention

Posted by Lovelyn | May 24, 2009 .

My husband: I’m thinking of making an invention.
Me: Really? What?
My husband: It’ll be the right hand part of the bass–small so I can take it in the car with me. I can practice plucking rhythms while I’m driving.
Translation: Reading, changing my clothes, playing the harmonica, and napping while driving isn’t dangerous enough. I’ve been trying [...]

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Let Me Count the Waves?

Posted by Lovelyn | May 11, 2009 .

My Husband: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Me: What?
My Husband: You don’t know that? It’s a famous poem.
Me: I know, but you said “Let me count the ways.”
My Husband: That’s the way it goes.
Me: No it’s not. It goes “Let me count the waves.”
My Husband: No it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean [...]

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On the Drive to the Emergency Room

Posted by Lovelyn | May 5, 2009 .

I called an ambulance to take me to the emergency room last week. This is the conversation that occurred in the ambulance.
Paramedic: (Filling out my intake form) Your date of birth?
Me: 19-05-1974
Paramedic: Age?
Me: I’m 34.
Paramedic: (Looks up from the form) No you’re not.
Me: Yes, I am.
Paramedic: No, you’re not. I’m 34, and I was born [...]

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The Sun is So Strong

Posted by Lovelyn | December 27, 2008 .

This conversation occurred while driving in a car at mid-day.
My husband: I’d roll down the window, but the sun is so strong.
Me: That’s because you lost all your pigment living in England.
My husband: I never had any pigment to begin with.
He rolls the window a crack and turns his hat sideways to protect the side [...]

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Greens verus Cereal

Posted by Lovelyn | September 11, 2008 .

We had kale greens with our lunch today.
Me: I love greens. They’re my favorite food.
My husband: That’s not true.
Me: Yes it is. I love greens.
My husband: How many times a day do you think about eating greens?
Me: I don’t know. None.
My husband: How many times a day do you think about eating cereal?
Me: Maybe six [...]

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