“I think I saw a rat in our yard last night,” my husband said.

“Really? I think I saw one in the yard the night before,” I said panicked. “What should we do?”

“Nothing. They were probably just passing through,” he said.

Just passing through? What does he think our yard is a highway for rats. Rats don’t just pass through. They infest and give you Bubonic Plague. Just ask any 14th century European, and they’ll tell you. Rats are bad news. They must be eliminated. They are probably living under our house chewing through the air-conditioning wiring and waiting to get all Secret of Nimh on us. Just thinking about it makes me feel like this:


I went around the house last night holding my ear to the walls listening for scurrying. I didn’t hear anything, but that could’ve been because they were sleeping.

If they were mice I would feel less anxious. Anyone whose watched Tom and Jerry can tell you that mice aren’t that bad. They’re actually cute, clever, and good dancers.

Rats on the other hand are like this:

I’m going to have to get a cat. I should’ve adopted Spooky when I had the chance.