Eylexion – My First Attempt at Writing a Commercial

Woman sitting on a sofa reading the newspaper. She throws paper down in disgust and looks in the camera.

WOMAN:  All this blinking makes it hard to read the newspaper.

ANNOUNCER:  The average person blinks ten times per minute. That’s means that you spend nearly three hours a day with your eyes closed. Imagine how much of your life you miss in three hours.

(Emotional music swells.)

Images flash on the screen of young baby laying in crib, a young girl having a tea party with teddy bears in a pink bedroom, a young woman walking down the aisle in a wedding dress. 

(Fade to white.)

 Camera focuses on a bottle Eylexion eye drops against a white background

ANNOUNCER: Because the people here at Nova Pharmaceuticals don’t want you to miss the most important moments of your life we’ve created Eylexion Eye drops.

Just put a drop of Eylexion in each eye every ten minutes and you’ll never have to blink again.

(Upbeat music plays quietly in the background.)

Man sits wide-eyed watching a football game on television.

MAN:  Now I never miss a single play. Thanks Eylexion.

Woman from the beginning of the commercial puts drops in her eyes and picks up the newspaper.

WOMAN: Now that I don’t have to blink reading the newspaper is easy. Thanks Eylexion.

(Fade to white. Upbeat music rises in volume.)

People of all ages and races dancing in a field. They look very happy and are having a party.

ANNOUNCER:  Eylexion was tested on poor people so we know it’s completely safe for you to use. Do not use Eylexion if you have chronic dry eye, an eye infection, brown eyes, five fingers on your right hand, or have ever eaten spaghetti. It’s best not to use before driving, reading or doing anything that requires you to see.

Possible side effects include redness of the eyes, high blood pressure, glaucoma, blindness, inability to speak in complete sentences, loss of sex drive, headaches, sensitivity to light, facial ticks, loss of limbs, spontaneous human combustion, and death.

Crowd stops dancing looks at the camera.

(In unison) CROWD: Thanks Eylexion.

(Fade out)

 eylexion

Comments

  1. says

    This is exactly what I need. I estimate I can increase the speed I read blogs by at least 5%. Oh! And work… I guess I could do more work too. Calling in my order now!