To Bidet, or Not to Bidet: That is the Question.


Even though I’ve never actually used one, a bidet has always seemed like a good idea to me. How could it not be? After all, cleanliness is next to godliness and who doesn’t want a godly behind?

I’ve considered including a bidet in the bathroom remodel we’ll probably never get around to doing, but it would take up a lot of space. It would also probably cost an arm and a leg. There is one other problem too, actually using the thing.

I have issues, and I’m pretty sure a bidet is a disaster waiting to happen. I can picture myself spraying water all over the bathroom or turning the pressure on too high and accidentally giving myself colon hydrotherapy. I am a massage therapist, but colon hydrotherapy is beyond my scope of practice.

A bidet toilet seat is a more feasible option. Have you heard of those? Most involve plastic tubing and even remote controls. A remote control toilet seat, now that’s fancy. Alas, a three hundred dollar remote control toilet seat is probably a bad idea for me too. I’m clumsy. I’d flush that remote control in no time. Then I’d have to try to replace it. I’m sure you’ve had to replace your television remote before with one of those universal things from Radio Shack. That never goes well. Imagine how much of a nightmare replacing your bidet toilet seat remote would be.

How much is a clean behind worth to you? You really have to think about that because that toilet paper you’re using isn’t really cutting it. I mean come on, be honest with yourself.

Cottonelle wipes are an affordable alternative to bidets. They get you clean without remote controls or high pressure water spraying up your bum.

This is a sponsored post and all that, but seriously guys you need to make sure you have a clean bottom. I’m just letting you know because I care. I care about your butt. Check out the #LetsTalkBums campaign to find out more. Clean bums rock. Just saying.