Manti Te’o, Spooky the Cat, and Catfish

In light of certain events that have happened to me this weekend, I’d like to say that I know exactly how Manti Te’o must be feeling. That’s right, you don’t have to be a naive college football player to be fooled by a fake internet profile. I have a catfish story of my very own, and this one involves a cat.

I like to peruse the local SPCA website looking for pets that I can adopt once I get my very own house. I look at dogs of course, but cats also interest me. Since August there’s been a certain cat on the site that I’ve had my eye on. His name is Spooky and besides his issue with other male cats he seemed like a good find. Here’s his profile:

spooky

He’s friendly, curious, active and social, and he likes to ride in cars. Doesn’t he sound great. Just look at his cute little kitty cat face. Well, don’t believe everything you see online. Anybody can steal someone else’s profile picture, pass it off as their own, and completely make up a bunch of really nice things about themselves. I know Spooky didn’t write his own profile. He pays people to do his dirty work for him.

On Saturday I decided to go to the SPCA to meet the animals that I’ve spent months looking at online. One of my primary goals was to meet Spooky.

The cat section of the SPCA has a series of glass inclosed rooms. Each room has cats roaming around inside. Visitors can go into the rooms to meet the cats. I searched the profiles taped on the glass doors looking for Spooky. When I finally found him we entered that room.

There were five cats in the room, but one grabbed our attention first. “That’s the biggest cat I’ve ever seen,” my husband said gesturing to the jet black cat spilling over the sides of a cat hammock. “Is that Spooky?”

“No,” I said confidently. “Spooky is a medium sized cat.” As I looked around the room and realized that he was the only completely black cat my heart sank. Could this be Spooky? I wondered. Could that be the medium sized active cat that I fell in love with? That was impossible. If he’s medium what’s a large cat look like? Do they have lions in the back room or something?

We played with a black cat with a splash of white fur on her chest while Spooky slept. Occasionally his enormous dandruff covered back would twitch, but he never woke. Before we left we asked a volunteer if the large black cat sleeping in the hammock was Spooky. She checked his tag and nodded. “Yeah, that’s Spooky,” she said.

I couldn’t deny it any longer. I’d been had. As much as I wanted to hide the fact I couldn’t. That’s why I’m telling you now. It’s best to confess to being the victim of a hoax before some busy body reporter finds out and blasts it all over the television news channels.

Will I see Spooky again? Probably. Will I adopt Spooky in the future? I don’t know. It just depends on whether or not I can get over the way he deceived me for the past six months. It depends on whether or not I believe his apology … if he ever wakes up long enough to give me one.

Hey guys. The other day Funny Not Slutty published a guest post that yours truly wrote. It’s all about New Year’s Resolutions. I encourage you to read it and make a comment if you’re so inclined. Here’s the post.

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