Happy Halloween

You might notice that the mention of holidays is almost completely absent from The Mooch. That’s because I’m just not that into them. Why does almost every holiday involve cooking a complicated meal? I can’t stand that. Who cares if you have turkey for Thanksgiving or ham for Easter or whatever people eat on Christmas on Christmas? Actually, I know a ton of people care. I’m just not one of them.

You would think that I would love Halloween because it doesn’t involve hours in the kitchen and you get to wear a funny outfit. The thing is as a child the idea of walking around at night knocking on people’s doors and asking for candy made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I was a scaredy cat as a child. That’s not a Halloween costume, it’s a condition, like Lupus but a lot less serious. The only holiday more terrifying than Halloween was Christmas. I never trust a man in a funny outfit that wants me to sit on his lap.

Even though I’m not celebrating, I hope you all have a happy Halloween. Enjoy your candy and outfit while you can because tomorrow you’ll have to where normal clothes and you’ll probably have a stomachache. Wait … that wasn’t very nice. Let’s try that again. Happy Halloween!!! Don’t think about the root canal you’ll need in a few months. That wasn’t very nice either. Happy Halloween, and I’m have nothing more to say because I really do know when to keep my mouth shut.

Photo by Sandy Son of Robert


  1. says

    Oh, you lovely person: you were as skittish as I was about so many things.

    Some of us are just born nervous little dogs.


    (I have pictures of me SCREAMING on Santa’s lap)

  2. Lovelyn says

    Some of us just are born that way. I used to have my little sister tell Santa what I wanted because I refused to go sit on his lap.