You might notice that the mention of holidays is almost completely absent from The Mooch. That’s because I’m just not that into them. Why does almost every holiday involve cooking a complicated meal? I can’t stand that. Who cares if you have turkey for Thanksgiving or ham for Easter or whatever people eat on Christmas on Christmas? Actually, I know a ton of people care. I’m just not one of them.
You would think that I would love Halloween because it doesn’t involve hours in the kitchen and you get to wear a funny outfit. The thing is as a child the idea of walking around at night knocking on people’s doors and asking for candy made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I was a scaredy cat as a child. That’s not a Halloween costume, it’s a condition, like Lupus but a lot less serious. The only holiday more terrifying than Halloween was Christmas. I never trust a man in a funny outfit that wants me to sit on his lap.
Even though I’m not celebrating, I hope you all have a happy Halloween. Enjoy your candy and outfit while you can because tomorrow you’ll have to where normal clothes and you’ll probably have a stomachache. Wait … that wasn’t very nice. Let’s try that again. Happy Halloween!!! Don’t think about the root canal you’ll need in a few months. That wasn’t very nice either. Happy Halloween, and I’m have nothing more to say because I really do know when to keep my mouth shut.
Photo by Sandy Son of Robert