A Disturbing Trend

Recently I’ve noticed a disturbing trend; a single gray hair is sticking straight up off the top of my head. I have found gray hairs on my head before, but they usually go away. This one has been hanging around for months and I can’t decide whether the fact that it’s gray or the fact that it’s straight is more disturbing.

What does this mean for my future? Am I destined to have a bunch straight gray hairs sticking up off my head in all directions as an old woman? Will I always look like I just stuck my finger in an electrical socket? Will I be able to wear hats?

Concerned, I pointed the gray hair out to my mother and grandmother one day. My mother of course needed to get a closer look, and when she did she said that she counted seven gray hairs, not just one. “Seven,” I said in horror. “That’s impossible.”

“Why would that be impossible?” my grandmother asked.

They didn’t seem to understand that it is impossible because firstly I’m a very good counter and I only counted one, and secondly I don’t think I should be graying prematurely. Neither of them could argue with my counting abilities because a quick counting challenge would prove them both wrong. They knew that. The premature graying was a different story though.

“You’re almost forty years old,” my mother said, “You’re supposed to be graying.”

I scoffed. Just because she has a bunch of gray hair on her head she suddenly thinks she’s the gray hair expert. First of all I’m not almost forty, I’m thirty eight … I think. Okay, it’s kind of scary that I’m not sure about that, but I’m pretty sure I’m probably thirty eight which is not almost forty. It’s a few years past thirty five which is nearly thirty. Everyone knows that most people don’t get gray hair until they’re at least forty two. It’s true. Everybody knows it. Just look it up.

Okay, if you really did look it up you probably found out that I most probably made up that last part about only getting gray hair after you’re forty two. I like to make plans though, and I was planning on graying slowly starting at forty two. I was planning on a nice streak of gray in the front and maybe one on the side. My gray was suppose to be elegant and classy and share the same curl pattern as the rest of the hair on my head. See how great it was going to be.

Instead, my gray came early and uninvited to the party on my head. It is straight and wiry and not at all what I expected, but when has life given me anything I’ve expected?

Photo by film_fatale