Biting Scared

I was always a scared child.

  • Crowds scared me.
  • The Ragged Ann and Andy movie scared me.
  • ET scared me.
  • The Electric Company television show scared me.
  • Motorcycles scared me.
  • Santa Claus
  • Loud noises scared me.
  • Balloons scared me.
  • Hats were so so scary.

Children have a few techniques they use to deal with fear. Most cry and cling to their parents for safety. I did that, but I had another coping mechanism that worked really well for me. I’d bite. I was especially fond of biting my father when I was scared. This somehow brought me comfort and security. There’s nothing like sinking your teeth into warm living flesh to make you feel better. My behavior probably made my father afraid of these things too because he knew what was coming.

I’ve probably gotten this story wrong in some way. My mother will call me on Sunday, because she always calls on Sundays, to inform me that I bit her too. I’m sure I did, but she never really talks about it so I have no story. You see, and this is a lesson to all of you who have children, the loudest story accompanied by the most laughter is the one that gets remembered.

Note: I don’t bite when I’m scared anymore. You could watch a the Ragged Ann and Andy movie with me without any worries of me taking a hunk of flesh out of your arm. I promise.

For all of you who don’t think that Ragged Ann and Andy could possibly be frightening, I dare you to watch this clip. If it doesn’t give you nightmares it will at least make you bite someone. On You Tube the first comment under this video is “Ragged Ann scares me.” I rest my case.