Try to Remember the 5th of November
It’s Guy Fawkes Night. All this time I thought it was Guy Forks Night, but I was recently corrected. Apparently, this holiday has nothing to do with forks which is unfortunate because I was quite enjoying the idea of celebrating guys and forks. They’re such useful inventions. Well, I guess guys aren’t really an invention. Anyway, none of this matters because it’s not about that, this night is all about Guy Fawkes. So here’s my understanding of what we’re celebrating.
Guy Fawkes was a Catholic who was being oppressed by the Protestants. He and some other Catholics decided to show the Protestant powers that be that they weren’t going to be kicked around anymore. So they rented a cellar beneath the Parliament building. Obviously, they had few national security concerns back then. I mean what were they thinking allowing Catholics to rent out the Parliament basement.
These Catholics were up to no good, let me tell you. They put a whole lot of gunpowder in the basement with the idea that they would blow up the Parliment building killing the King, his family, the evil Prostetant overlords and a few Catholics as collateral damage. It was a great plan, until they got caught on November 5, 1605. They were all drawn, hung, and quartered. And now every November 5th, the English celebrate this by setting off fireworks in their yards.
