Nebulous Mooch

I got this amusing email today. I’ve recently gotten lots of scam email like this. The best part about it is the grammar.

Hello Dear,

Please i have to let you knowing this that your have reciverd your parcel, and do not let me knowing about that since last year.

At this very point now, do to i have not heard from you to knowing the sitution of things now, for your information track your parcel and you will sean what am talking about please.

However if you knowing that you are not the one please do get back to me as matter of urgent to day.please track and sean with this information Below

I didn’t include the link and phone number. I don’t think I’ll reply.

I can’t believe that someone took a picture of this and decided it looked okay to put on a flier and slip into people’s mail slots. Does this make you want to eat pizza?

The funny thing about pizza here is that all the pizzas have names. This restaurant has a pizza called Mexican Passion. What kind of name is that for a pizza? All cheese pizzas seem to be called Margherita. What’s that have to do with cheese pizza?

We went to a restaurant once (actually it was a grimy take out place that doesn’t deserved to be called a restaurant) and ordered a cheese pizza and the guy acted like he had no idea what we were talking about. “What? What?” he kept saying and frowning at us. Finally my husband asked for the Margherita pizza and the guy smiled and nodded with recognition. Apparently, you must call the pizza by the proper name when placing your order.

I saw this video the other day and thought I’d put it up.

I’m a posting fool today! Look at me go!

Even though we left sunny Florida two months ago, the electric company insists on continuing to charge us for electricity. I’ve had evidence that I no longer reside in the apartment faxed to them. I’ve spoken to them repeatedly on the phone. Today I got a notice that my bill is unpaid and that they will cut off my electricity. They mailed the notice to England! Isn’t that proof enough that I no longer live there?

The thing that makes it worse is that some of the electricity they want me to pay for was used by Camden Lakes to run the ionizing machine they stuck in the apartment because it “smelled like spices.”

I’ve noticed when dealing with companies on the phone as so as the person I’m speaking to starts saying, “Yes, Ma’am” over and over that means they’re not really listening and they’re not going to do anything to fix the problem.

My husband said that in order to appreciate my homemade neck brace you had to see it. So here’s a picture. It was good because it kept my neck from moving from side to side. It was bad because after awhile it made my neck itch. I also started to get little bumps on the front of my neck.

I originally bought the throw because I thought it would give me comfort and warmth on cold days. It was an impulse buy when we were cold and had no furniture. At the time, I didn’t realize it was basically a piece of felt with seams sewn up the sides. It provides no warmth at all. Every time I saw it on the sofa, I felt angry and unsatisfied. Now I’m glad I bought it because it did so much to help heal my neck, even if it did give me a bit of a rash.

The other day I was talking to my husband when I noticed something strange going on. He was holding himself and dancing around like a child who had to go to the bathroom. “What’s wrong with you?” I asked.

“Nothing. Why?” he said looking suspicious.

“What’s up with your pants?”

“I’m warming up my harmonica,” he said. He reached down his pants and pulled the harmonica out.

Horrified, I asked, “Was that just down your pants or was it down your underwear too.”

“I have to have it next to my skin so it’ll be warm enough. That way it plays better.” He started playing it as he wondered into the next room.

I just hope he doesn’t start doing that on gigs. What will people think?

Sorry about not posting, but it was my birthday the other day and I woke up with a problem. I had such a terrible pain in my neck that I couldn’t turn my head or even lift my arms to massage the area. I couldn’t type either. It was terrible.

I managed to walk to the library and get a book out to read. Then I fashioned a neck brace out of a throw that we keep on the sofa. I folded it several times and then wrapped it around and around my neck and tied it in a giant cumbersome knot at the front.

I spent the past couple days taking hot baths and sitting around in my homemade neck brace reading. I even slept in the neck brace. Now there’s still a little pain when I turn my head but I’m mostly cured.

Who knew turning 34 would be so difficult?

The name sounds completely made up to me, but I found out that our spidery little friends are called tegenaria deomestica. They’re more commonly known as the British house spider.

We’ve had an interesting time with the spiders this past weekend. My husband and stepson decided to put two in the same plastic container and watch them spar to the death. I was not happy. I don’t like them, but I don’t want to be cruel to them either. When I expressed my disapproval they both said, “We just wanted to see what would happen.” Typical. Later my husband said he felt guilty.

Now that we’ve gotten rid of the spiders, we have to work on getting rid of the ants under the sink and the loud clumsy bumble bees that come through our bedroom vent in the mornings. Bees are such early risers. If they would just keep it down, I wouldn’t mind their morning visits.

Does anyone know what these spiders are? Are they dangerous? Now that we’ve found one, they keep turning up. My husband caught another one today in a container. It’s sitting on the windowsill. They’re quite large. My husband says they’re harmless, but I’m not so sure.