Nebulous Mooch

We only just got around to decorating our Christmas tree on Tuesday. We got the tree on Saturday because of the generosity of my parents. Actually, it was because of my parents’ inability to pass up a good deal. It was $10 for the tree and stand. How could they not buy it?

When we tried to put it up it kept falling over. I didn’t really have much of a problem with that. I thought we could just leave it lying on its side in our living room. It could be a statement about how we are opposed to the commercialism of Christmas, but my husband isn’t into making those kinds of statements.

I borrowed a saw from my parents and we spent a long time out on our “breeze way” in the dark trying to saw the bottom off the tree. My husband was sawing (I’d probably saw off my finger). My stepson and I were making a feeble attempt at holding the tree still. The hand saw was difficult to use. It kept getting stuck in the trunk. We finally got the bent part of the trunk off with no injuries. We all still have ten fingers.

The following night we decorated the tree. I put the hooks on the ornaments as they hung them on the tree. My husband kept saying, “Isn’t this great! It’s so Christmas!” I guess it is. I just don’t really get the whole Christmas tree thing. This is the first time I had a Christmas tree since I was a child. It’s fine, but it doesn’t excite me like it should. Every time he comes into the living room now, my husband says, “Doesn’t the pine smell good?” Our apartment does smell slightly of pine now, but it also smells like that after I clean the bathroom.

The lights are pretty and I don’t mind vacuuming up pine needles. The good thing about having a Christmas tree is that now I have a place to put the gifts.

I’ve written about my apartment complex before, with it’s interesting residents and pesticide filled retention ponds. While I do tend to complain about it a bit, I don’t mind living here. It could be a lot worse. We were planning on living here for one more year. Much to our dismay, when we went to sign our new lease, we found out that the rent had gone up roughly $200 a month. I don’t like living here that much! We shouldn’t have to pay $200 more to live in a place where we can hear the neighbors having sex up stairs. That’s not an added feature.

After we had learned this shocking news, we decided to consider buying a house. Last Saturday we went to two house auctions, just to see what they were like, to get an idea about what we can expect to get for our money. Of course, my husband loved the first house we saw and wanted to buy it then and there. “This is great!” he beamed.

A lot of people came and went while we were looking around and talking to the real estate agent. When the auction time came, however, we were the only bidders there. The auctioneer started the bidding low, and since it was so low and there was no one else there to bid, my husband and I both raised our hands to bid. The auctioneer somehow missed this. “Since there’s no one willing to bid we’ll stop the bidding,” he said. Even after someone else pointed out that we had just bid, he wouldn’t accept it. He had to be informed that there was indeed a bid three times before he would acknowledge us.

I don’t really know how auctions work. Maybe we were supposed to get some kind of numbered paddle from somewhere to hold up. They didn’t supply any at the sight. Is that something you’re supposed to bring with you? If so, what do they do if two people have the same number? Maybe we were supposed to do something less conspicuous than raise our hands, like scratch our noses or pretend to brush lint off of our shoulders. How would the auctioneer know if we were bidding or if we really had lint on our shoulders and itchy noses?

Maybe part of the problem was the timidity with which we raised our hands–on the bidding sheet we recieved it said that the winning bid would have to pay $1000! I didn’t want to blow $1000 on a house we weren’t really going to buy. The auctioneer also probably thought we were just two young kids fooling around. My husband and I are known for our youthful appearances. Okay, I’m not really known for my youthful appearance but my husband is.

Don’t worry. We didn’t have to waste $1000. That was only if the seller accepted our offer. The seller just wasn’t willing to sell it for as low as we wanted to buy it. We’ll just have to keep looking. Next time, we’ll remember to bring our numbered paddle with us to the auction.