Cruise Control
I like driving. I like the solitary time to think and listen to the radio. I like the time to ponder life and my place in it, as I yell at my fellow drivers because they obviously don’t know what they’re doing. Driving is a good wholesome activity. There is just one thing that ruins it–left turns.
I’d like driving even more if I didn’t have to make left turns. Right is all right but left is not so all right. I go to extremes not to make left turns on busy streets that have multiply lanes. I’ll drive a few blocks out of my way to turn at a traffic light. The green turn arrow is my best friend. This arrow saves me from having to make potentially life threatening decisions.
I have the traffic lights that I use frequently timed. I know that if I’m stopped at a red light at one light, I have to drive at least forty miles per hour to get to the next light in time to trigger the left turn arrow. I hate it when the people in the cars in front of me don’t seem to realize this and drive at a snail’s pace. I especially hate it when the slow car in front of me is turning left too. What’s their problem? Doesn’t everyone time traffic lights?
I don’t know why this is, but some people don’t seem to realize that you have to trigger most left turn arrows. If you don’t pull up to the line, the arrow will not come on for you to turn. Sometimes I pull up behind a car and they are sitting two or three feet from the white line. They always act confused and dismayed when the arrow doesn’t turn green for them. Of course, it’s not going to turn green. You haven’t triggered it. You just wasted all of the effort I put into coming to this light to make a left turn.
For me pulling out into traffic is like jumping double Dutch. Whenever I tried to jump double Dutch, the rope hit me in the eye. It’s hard for me to properly determine when to pull out. When other cars are waiting in line behind me, it really puts the pressure on. I think of the person in the car behind me yelling, “Just go already!” I feel all flustered and under-confident. It’s shocking that I haven’t been in more accidents.
I was in an accident once. Surprisingly, I wasn’t turning left. I was turning right. I had let my guard down because of the relative ease of a right turn. Before I knew it, my car was kissing the bumper of a green four door sedan. Don’t worry. No one was hurt and it will never happen again.
Driving is a great pass time, as long as there are no accidents and no left turns. I love it. I could drive forever in a straight line. That would be ideal. Besides, my irrational fear of parking makes it hard to stop driving once I start.
